This I Can Do For You
by fairytalemanipulator
Summary: Based on episode aired 4.18.06., basically what Ziva said to Tony. Tony DiNozzo is tired. Very tired. Oneshot


**Title: This I Can Do For You -oneshot**

**Author: fairytalemanipulator**

**Major spoilers for episode aired April 18, 2006.**

**Disclaimer (s):**

**I'm basically playing off of the suggestiveness-ish of that eppy. Sorry for all the Kate/Tony fans, I only started watching after Ziva came on. I'm more of a Ziva/Tony chick, lots of apologies. **

**A few curse words, a lot of suggestiveness, a bit lewd…basically, everything you would expect from these guys. I mean, come on.**

**In the latest episode, Ziva tries to con Tony. He rats her out anyways, but let's see how, in my world, the entire thing could play out. PS- I don't remember exactly what they said, so I might paraphrase in my flashbacks.**

**Reviews! Reviews galore are appreciated!**

………………………………..

Tony DiNozzo was tired. Really, there was no other word for it. Exhaustion. Fatigue. Weariness.

Okay, so there were a few words for it.

What he couldn't get out of his head were those not-so-innocent words that siren had harped into his ear.

"_What will you do for me in return, Ziva?"_

"_Whatever you want."_

Her hot breath on his face. Her warm, silky skin right next to his…

"Oh shit!" He jumped as a car horn blasted him to his senses. _Daydreaming in the middle of traffic. Not so smart, DiNozzo._

_I probably should have taken her offer. Ah, well. It was fun while it lasted._

Another thing that's not smart, he thought as he narrowly missed slamming into a fire hydrant. Staying up for about twenty-nine hours straight then driving home.

……………………

The federal agent managed to make his way through his apartment door without extensive, unparalleled damage. He waited until his shoes were kicked off to collapse on the couch, not even bothering to remove the keys from his hand. His last coherent thought before he drifted off to his land of pink bunnies and sunshine was thus.

_She wanted me. I know she did…you can't fake that kind of lust._

……………………….

Tony blinked a few times. Then he blinked a few more. _Nothing._ He waved a hand in front of his face, blearily registering the fact that said hand did not appear.

"Oh my God! I'm blind!" Leaping up to do God-knows-what in his semi-conscious state, he was startled to find his sight miraculously restored. _Oh. _The pillow had fallen off his face in his haste to confront his newly-acquired disability.

Feeling very much like the probie he picked on constantly, DiNozzo furtively glanced around, making sure there was no one present to witness his stupidity. Reassured, he proceeded to stumble into the kitchen and fix himself a glass of water. _Aspirin as a plus._

At that exact moment, the doorbell rang. _Did I order Chinese? _Tony found himself wondering. _What time is it, anyway?_

Barely registering his movements, Tony peered through the peephole to meet a sight he didn't expect to see. Ever.

A big Ziva-eye was staring back at him through the magnified glass. Jumping back in shock, Tony grasped at his glass of water before it fell to the floor.

Hastily, he unhooked the chain from the door, in the same fluid movement unlocking the deadbolt. He was faced with a very unusually-put-together-looking Ziva. That is, except for the trenchcoat.

"Ziva? What time is it?"

She simply looked at him, a lewd, lascivious smile on her face. _Much like the smile she gets before she knifes someone._

"Uh, Ziva? Why are you here? Now? Looking at me like you want to kill me?"

Uncharacteristically, Ziva shook her head. A tinkling laugh broke forth, and Tony realized that the only laugh he'd ever heard out of her had been sinister. _Maniacal._

"Oh, Tony. Why would I want to kill you?"

She pushed her way past him into the tiny room, eyeing her surroundings with little interest. Interestingly enough, she didn't stop there. She proceeded to head straight to the bedroom, with a stuttering Tony following behind like a lost puppy.

"Uh, Zi-Ziva? Where are you going? Zee…"

His words died a slow death in his mouth as the female agent whipped around. In a show of impatience, she threw off the trenchcoat.

"Now let's get busy, DiNozzo." Her hands were on her hips. _Her beautiful, amazing, pearly-white hips. Oh dear lord. You are so good to me._

_I knew she wanted me._

Underneath that trenchcoat was nothing but a tightly laced black and red corset, followed with garter stockings and the sexiest boots Tony had ever seen in his entire life. Not to mention the tiny black leather shorts she was sporting.

And the best part? She had two guns, one on each hip. _The ultimate Bond fantasy._

_I never knew she had all that hidden under those baggy Walmart clothes._

"But…you…you-"

She sighed, more like a huff. "Tony, Tony, Tony. Just because you didn't take the blame for the traffic accident doesn't mean we can't live up to the conditions you made," She tapped long, manicured fingernails against the stretching material spanning her hips.

_Hold the phone. Ziva, and manicured nails? _He was too far in to question his situation, however.

"I knew you wanted me," he murmured as she tugged on his shirt, a bit roughly. Her brown hair brushed his shoulders, and he smelled cinnamon. "I knew it,"

"Aren't you gonna get that?" Ziva panted as she ran her fingers down his chest.

"Get what?" Tony replied distantly. _Wow. Wow. Wow._

"The phone."

Now, Tony could hear a far-away, tinny tone coming from somewhere nearby him.

"It's in your pants," Ziva stood up and moved away. Tony grasped at her, at the last faint shred of reality.

"Wait, Ziva, don't go,"

"The phone's already in your pants. What more do you want from me?" She pouted, crossing her arms across her bulging chest. DiNozzo did a double take. _When did she get those?_

Pondering the bizarre nature of her statement, Tony moved in an attempt to get his phone. As he stretched his arm out, an incredible pain shot through his limb, so intense that he felt no words to express his sufferings.

"FUCK!"

……………………………..

Tony DiNozzo fell off the couch, one arm twisted around the pillow on top of his face, the other reaching in his pocket. All in all, a painful situation.

He sat up, having landed with an abrupt thud on the ground.

"Ziva?" He called into his echoing apartment, barely coherent. "Ya there?"

He next turned his attention to his phone, which proudly displayed the calling number of someone he knew. Very well. He flipped open the cell.

"Ziva?"

"Tony? Why do you sound so confused? Anyways, Gibbs sends you a message. 'Get your ass in here.' We got a new case, hurry up,"

"But…weren't we just…" The horror of the situation dawned on the seasoned agent. "Oh no."

"What? Tony? You there?"

"Yeah. I'm here," Tony was busy pounding his head into the ground.

"Okay, well, get down here now. You should have gotten at least four hours of naptime in. Rise and shine! The early worm gets all the apples!"

Tony puzzled the latest rhyme out, in between mental head-bashes. "You mean the early bird catches all the worms?" He was too late, however, as he heard a dial tone as soon as the words were out of his mouth.

Tony stood, disoriented, phone still in his hand. The pillows were on the ground next to the couch, as well as the car keys and his jacket, which he had managed to peel off of himself during the course of slumber.

The door to his bedroom was closed. Just like he had left itthe last night he was home.

Tony groaned. _Not just a fantasy. Not just a fantasy…_

_It was just a dream. God damn it!_

He shuffled his way to the kitchen for a real-life aspirin. Halfway to the cabinet, he stopped, eyes glazed.

_Wonder if she really owns a corset? Garters, nonetheless. DiNozzo, you _are _good. _

**Review! Love from the fairytalemanipulator!**


End file.
